I’ve had a bad weekend. My new, super-duper computer with its 4 core processor came with a lousy piece of malware called BitDefender on it. It’s supposed to be an anti-virus thingey.

Yesterday it went berserk. It just started quarantining every goddam file on the computer. Luckily I stopped its runaway lunacy in time to restore things from the quarantine. Other folks who saw the notices got scared and did a system scan. Boy were they screwed. At breakneck speed BitDefender swept all the essential files it could into quarantine. If you had your preferences set to delete what was in your quarantine bin, well, better luck next time, kiddo, you got no operating system.

What’s happened to greedy American companies? How about a computer anti-virus which becomes in itself a destructive virus? There’s an idea not likely to catch on. Don’t they test these things.

So I’m in a foul mood, as are thousands of other people. But really, I started off in a foul mood.

I happened to eat at Enrico’s in North Beach this week with some friends. Enrico’s has a fine history, from back in the beatnik era when folks didn’t care as much for money as they did for sex. People traveled, often to learn things. Banks paid decent interest on deposit and made loans for slightly more money instead of paying zilch for money then making a gambling game out of people’s mortgages to get rich fast or die. We didn’t vomit when folks mentioned regulation, it was part of what the government did to protect the people who owned it. The government I mean. Of, by and for. The people.

Anyway, back to Enricos. Decent food, decenter pizza. Then you come to the wine list. Pathetic. Least costly red out of a paltry list of maybe 8 reds set you back a whopping $38. This for crap wine. One interesting choice, but they were out of that one. Waiter says, “if you want a light wine I can recommend…”

Who wants a “light” anything? For $40 bucks I better get flavor that spills out my ears and bothers the other diners. Especially when that wine is on sale for 7 bucks at the liquor store.

My Italian neighbors make their own wine. They won’t drink the commercial stuff. It’s not even about cost. You can still get a bottle of decent plonk at the super for 1 Euro. They complain about headaches when they drink bottled stuff. They prefer their homemade wine. It’s not like it’s a compromise, like you need millions of dollars in temperature controlled stainless steel tanks to make wine. Wine makes itself. You crush. You wait. It ferments. That’s why it’s been around for thousands of years.

Anyway, to get to the title’s promise: if you are a couple contemplating a trip to Italy and you look at the miserable but better-than-it-was-a-while-ago exchange rate and say “gosh, hotels are expensive” then I will say to those of you who like to share a bottle of wine with dinner, “Go! You’ll make it all up on the wine prices!”

I’m always amazed at restaurant owners who always know were to get (or how to make) excellent wines. Risorante da Remo in cute Monzone every year manages to come up with a 2 Euro per half liter red that is mighty yummy.

So really, come to Italy, rent a self-catering apartment or house or, for the less adventurous, a hotel and start saving money on your wine habit.

Unless you like overoaked Merlot. There’s a reason vanilla ends up in cookies and sweet rolls. It doesn’t belong in wine, which you’ll grasp once you try things the Italian way. You taste the grapes. Not a bad thing, really.

What with election shenanigans, media manipulation investigations, and other fun and games, those watching Italy could, perhaps, be forgiven for thinking that Italy is one huge great reality show.  A surreal mix of Big Brother, X-Factor, and Love Island, perhaps?

Leading the Big Brother house, and all the other reality flavours, we have one Silvio Berlusconi, who is also participant, director, producer, and scriptwriter.  Yes, recent events do seem to have converted the Living Museum into the Living Reality Show.  To add to the quality programme schedule, rigorously vetted by Italy’s CEO stroke prime minister, (TV star, and director), irritating sub-shows, such as talk shows going by the name of AnnoZero, have been sidelined, just in case their contents might ruin the plot which Silvio has carefully crafted.

The coming elections will present an occasion for the audience, otherwise known as sections of Italy’s population, to vote one or two contestants in or out of the “house”.  Actually, the elections constitute the live Italian equivalent of X-Factor, with aspiring politicians, old and new, performing on stages in piazzas near you – if you are luck enough to live in Italy, that is.

Meanwhile on Love Island…

The Island

In his spare time on an isolated island in the midst of the Mediterranean, a certain Ignazio La Russa, who regularly plays the part of Italy’s irascible defence minister, is allegedly training an army of boys, who are now girls, from Brazil, to participate in a coup d’etat.  It is believed that these ladies, who were once men, have most likely been surgically altered in order to incorporate a couple of commie-seeking, judge destroying, guided missiles.  I’ll leave it to your imagination as the where these missiles have been implanted.

Rumour has it that an all-party commission of Italian politicians offered to escort Ignazio’s Brazillian battalions to the island and help train up the missile toting Amazons, but Ignazio apparently said no as he reportedly fears corruption in his ranks.  The name of these persons cannot be revealed for fear of legal retribution, or missile attack.

A targeting list has been drawn up, and is rumoured to include irritating commies such as Antonio Di Pietro (former judge turned commie), Marco Travaglio (a journalist who insists on writing untruths about Italy’s current government), as well as talk show host Mr Santoro (who insists in speaking ill of Silvio).  Berlusconi’s soon to be ex-wife, Veronica Lario (who is seeking millions in alimony) is also on the targeting list, apparently.  Ms Lario’s lawyer, a Taliban commie, may also have been added to the missile targeting list.  Another missile may also, allegedly, accidentally land on Sky Italy’s HQ, probably when a certain Mr Murdoch is doing the rounds.  It is understood that the laser used in the missile guidance systems may be accidentally on purpose misguided towards one Gianfranco Fini, an Italian politician who appears to be lining himself up to take over from Italy’s current host.

Financing for the missiles, training, lasers, and surgical interventions has, allegedly, been okayed by Italy’s, allegedly, stunning minister for sexual equality, Mara Carfagna.  Several minor amendments to Italy’s laws, designed to keep everybody on Ignazio’s island comfortable, have, allegedly, been authored by one Nicolo Ghedini, the lawyer turned politician, who is also a lawyer at the same time as being a politician, and vice versa.

Here’s a short video of Minister Mara Carfagna, allegedly, undergoing a little vocational training:

Click here to view the embedded video.

The House

Meanwhile, back in Big Brother house, Silvio, has been legitimately impeded from answering embarrassing questions posed by, , allegedly, Taliban, prosecutors, on the grounds that he has a few parties to attend.

Italy’s minister for justice, Angelino Alfano, who also allegedly heads Italy Spa’s (Italy PLC) Legal Affairs Division, is, allegedly, about to introduce a slight modification to the Italian constitution which will, allegedly, re-designate parties held by Silvio and a few of his brethren, as official functions, and thus render them, allegedly, legitimate impediments for his boss.  The almost unnoticeable amendment to Italy’s constitution will also, allegedly, render other parties, political ones, illegal, on the grounds that only a one party state can be, allegedly, truly democratic.

Another, allegedly, minor modification to Italy’s laws will remove the word “independent” from any watchdog type authority.

Moves are also, allegedly, afoot to ensure only the right people will be selected as politicians in Italy.  X-Factor is, allegedly, about to move up in the world.

The Talent Show

X-Factor is, allegedly, about to be written into the Italian constitution.  Apparently, this reality talent show will, allegedly, become instrumental in the selection of future political candidates, as well as choosing new judges and prosecutors.  Speaking of judges, the head of the new X-Factor cum Democratic Selection Panel, will, allegedly, be one Silvio Berlusconi.  Other members of the panel, allegedly, will be key members of the Berlusconi group, Marina and Piersilvio, as well as a few, allegedly, odd celebrities.

Although not yet confirmed, but alleged, X-Factor cum Democratic Selection Panel participants will be selected for key positions in the Italian government on the basis of their sex (and, allegedly, how good they are at it), and if they, allegedly, refer to Silvio as “daddykins”.

One of the new ministries, allegedly, being broached is the ministry of escorts, which will have nothing to do with cars, in case you were wondering.  Instead, this ministry will be tasked with arranging suitable entertainment for visiting dignitaries,passing diplomats and future G8 meetings.

The Launch

When is all the above, allegedly, to take place?  Well, it’s already happening, or that’s what it feels like in Italy at the moment.  As for the, alleged, invasion of Ignazio’s, alleged, transsexual missile launching Brazilian escorts, well, this may take place a couple of days after the results of the forthcoming regional elections are in, probably on April 1st, allegedly.

Funny, I did think Italy was a big soap opera.

Island Picture shot by Lenish Namath

House picture by Alessio Damato

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I love the Marche. Well, maybe not as much as those people over there on the left, found bolted to a museum wall in Urbino love each other, but still…

So this morning in the twitter stream comes word of an interesting proposal. You can get lodging in the Marche and learn how folks grow and harvest the crocus sex organs which become saffron. See here. You’ll be in the shadows of a great town hardly anybody visits, Urbino, as sensuous a city as has ever been discovered.

Driving around the Marche is a great experience. Unlike Tuscany, there aren’t a lot of gaping tourists insisting on owning the road so they can take pictures from the car window because getting out would waste precious moments of their vacation, so they waste yours.

There are lots of interesting towns and medieval villages you can discover by just driving through. Get a good map like Touring Club Italiano-Marche and Umbria Map which you can easily buy over the internet, and get going. Take the small roads. That’s what regions like the Marche are all about.

If you end up in Piobbico, then you’ve come across the headquarters of the Ugly Club. Yes, Club dei Brutti, via Dante Alighieri, 25 and even the door is ugly.

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BlogfromItaly.com now sports a little Jobs link at the very top of this page.  Before you think this site has been taken over, or that it’s making gazillions, you should know that the Jobs section is an initiative designed to help aspiring young Italian journalists become, er, journalists. A kind of talent contest, if you like.

Why?  Well, when running English courses at Il Sole 24 Ore’s Business School I come across young Italians who have given up on the idea of pursuing a career in journalism in Italy because it is too difficult to gain a foothold.

Well, hopefully I can use BlogfromItaly.com as a kind of spring board to make it a little easier for aspiring journalists to enter the profession.

There is also an opportunity, via GlobalPost, for budding Italian journalists to gain a little international exposure. There are, however, a couple of catches.  Aren’t there always?

Catch One

The catch is that any Italians who might like to write for BlogfromItaly.com will have to do so in English.  I’m told, by some English speaking journalists I know, that this is a tall order.  They think it will be very difficult to find Italians who can write well enough.  While this may be the case, through my years teaching English, I have come across a few Italians who can write pretty well in English, so I remain optimistic.

In judging writing quality, I’ll be harsh, as I’m looking for people who can write very well indeed.  Those who are rejected have not need to feel disillusioned, rejection simply means they need to keep on developing their skills.

Actually, if you happen to have any Italian friends who can write very well in English, do tell them about this initiative and encourage them to reveal their talents to the world.

OK, so that’s one of the catches, now it’s time for an incentive.

Write for GlobalPost

I mentioned this talent-spotting idea of mine to GlobalPost’s Head of Blog Development, John Wilpers, and he liked it.  Moreover, he said that he would be prepared to pass the names of obviously talented writers on to GlobalPost’s editors.  In turn, the editors might give the people concerned an opportunity to write an article for GlobalPost, for which they might well be paid.

Hey presto, young journalist receives international exposure and ends up writing for a whole range of publications.  One career kick started. OK, so I’m being a little optimistic, but there’s no harm in trying.

Additionally, writing articles for a real news website will help Italian journalists qualify as such in Italy, in that as part of their training, trainee journalists need to complete 40 paid articles before they can receive official recognition as journalists in Italy .  As explained in the Jobs section, BlogfromItaly.com is not a registered publication (I’m looking in to how this could be achieved), so even if I paid someone to write an article, it would not help them qualify as a journalist in Italy.

“What’s the point then?”, you might be wondering.  The point is that people who are not sure of their ability to write in English can send me an example article and if it is written well, it’ll be published here on BlogfromItaly.com and on Global Post -where BlogfromItaly’s posts, articles or whatever, are featured.  In addition, I know that BlogfromItaly.com is visited by some journalists,  a couple of whom are friends of mine, and I’m sure these people will let me know if they find a piece which catches their eyes.

Benefits for BlogfromItaly

What does BlogfromItaly.com get out of the exercise?  Simple, some extra content, which I hope BlogfromItaly.com’s readers will find interesting.  With a little luck having others write articles for me will take a little weight of my back during periods, such as around now, when I’ve got too much on to be able to dedicate enough time to this site.

The more content BlogfromItaly.com has, the more people will visit and read, and this will increase the chances of talent being spotted!

Catch Two

You mentioned two catches. What’s the other one?  The other catch is that whoever does write articles for BlogfromItaly.com will not be paid, although I’m trying to find a few sponsors to fund some of the articles.  Indeed, these sponsors could even commission an article, if they liked.

Please contact me if you would like to offer one or two ‘bursaries’.  Sponsor’s names will be mentioned on the Jobs page and at the end of any of the articles they’ve contributed towards.

Let the Talent Contest Commence!

Right.  I hope you like the idea.  I already have one Italian who’d like to try out.

Plagiarism

Just in case there are some ‘furbo‘ people out there, any articles submitted will be checked for plagiarism.  Firstly by myself, and secondly by passing readers.  If plagiarism is discovered, it will look bad for the writer concerned, who, as a consequence, will probably have to kiss goodbye to a career as a journalist.  The articles concerned will be removed too.

If anyone has any suggestions as to how this initiative can be improved or developed, please let me know.

This is an experiment, as I have no idea what kind of response I’ll get, and I doubt I’ll be snowed under with requests.  But it would make me feel good if I can be instrumental, in a small way, in launching the odd career or two.

Thanks for reading.

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Copyright © blogfromitaly.com 2005 – 2010
This feed is for personal, non-commercial use only.
Please note that GlobalPost.com and Shesdaily.blogspot.com have permission to use blogfromitaly.com content.
The use of this feed on other websites breaches copyright. If this content is not in your news reader, it makes the page you are viewing an infringement of copyright.

There was a blog, written by an Italian under a pseudonym, called ‘Italy is Falling’.  This blog is no more.  From the title of the blog, one is left under no illusions as to the writers feelings towards contemporary Italy.  Others, it seems, may also believe that Italy is falling.

Whilst checking out new BlogfromItaly friends on the @newsfromitaly Twitter channel, I came across an Italian blog which rails against aspects of Italy which are far from perfect.  This Italian blog makes grim reading, as its ‘Don’t read this Blog’ title warns.

Well, some people do read the blog they shouldn’t, and one of them is apparently a Carabiniere policeman who wrote the Italian blogger behind ‘Don’t Read this Blog’, Wil, a letter.  The police officer is known to Wil by all accounts (I asked Wil), but he was reluctant to reveal his name.  While perusing Wil’s blog, I came across the policeman’s letter and found its contents worrying.  In order that you can understand why, here is said policeman’s letter which I have translated into English.

If you have a moment, read it.  And remember that it was written by a serving Italian policeman.

The Policeman’s Letter

Dear Wil,

I’m 45 years old, and have served as Carabiniere [policeman] for  25 years.  I read your blog [Non Leggere Questo Blog] every day, and every day I shudder with disgust at the disgraceful actions of this government.  At work I do not hide what I think of Mr. B. and the havoc he is wreaking in Italy.

I love my country and I dream that one day it will become normal, a place where democracy is real, and where citizens are served by honest politicians.  A place where my children can have a proper education and can find work without needing ‘recommendations’.  A place where everyone pays taxes,  and where justice is respected and valued.  For these ideals, my colleagues think I am a sh**ty commie-anarchist.

Some 95% of my colleagues are right wingers / Northern League supporters (and may even be normal). The vast majority of these are fascists (meaning that on their desks or in their lockers or wallets or on their mobile phones they have pictures of Il Duce – Mussolini – or they have his speeches and films or songs popular during the Mussolini period), and when immigrants are mentioned, they are all “non-Europeans” “niggers”, while all left wingers are are “sh**ty communists”, and “f**king environmentalists” whose “arses should be kicked” or who should “all be killed”.  The disgraceful actions of Mr. B. are “the lesser evil”  and “…just let me get on with my job”. Misinformation dominates [Italy] and the truth interests almost no-one.  In the event of a mobilization or “coup” or coup d’etat or civil war (I touch wood in order not to tempt fate) Italy’s Police Forces will line up (quite willingly) with those who initiate the coup.

I think the time has come for those who believe in other values and who do not want the [Italian] Constitution and the country to be definitively destroyed by these people, to standup and make themselves heard, express their dissent, declare loyalty to the Constitution (the original one) and to fight by civil means against this abomination.

Thanks, bye.

It makes quite interesting reading, don’t you think?  I think the policeman who wrote it probably thinks Italy is falling.

From a mini-conversation via Twitter with Wil, I ascertained that the policemen concerned; or should that be ‘concerned policeman; works up in the north of Italy – which explains the reference to Italy’s Northern League party.

In Italy, while the political parties like to give the impression that they are ‘centre’ left and right, the right wingers are not quite as ‘central’ as those on the left of Italy’s centre.  For some Italians right is good, whereas other think left is better.  It’s a little different to the situation back in the UK where I am from.

The Old Adversaries

In the UK the antagonists of old were the socialists and the conservatives – the working classes versus the ruling classes.  Nowadays, what with the socialists having mutated into a funny thing called ‘New Labour’, the battle no longer rages so fiercely.  The current conservatives don’t seem too far removed from the Labour party when all is said and done, and I am under the impression that voters in the UK don’t seem to be too sure who stands for what.

Within the Living Museum, though, the warring factions are those traditional antagonists, the fascists (But don’t call them fascists, because a) publicly they hate the label b) they don’t think they are, except some, who secretly carried Mussolini photos in their wallets and handbags.) and the communists (You can call communists communists in Italy, and they won’t become irate!  Watch your babies though!).

I think many would admit that the Italian flavours of both communism and fascism were never quite as extreme as the Soviet and Nazi interpretations.

Today’s Italian commies, for example, would probably not go around slapping people in the Italian equivalent of Siberia (not sure there is one in Italy, anyway! – Bolzano?! – only joking!), although you get the impression that the fascist wannabes are bit more sinister, and would like nothing more than to don black shirts and wander around beating up coloured people, gays and the like.  The policeman’s letter above appears to confirm that such people in Italy do exist, unfortunately.

It’s a shame that neither those who want to be fascists, nor those who like the idea of being communists have noted that at their extreme ends, neither of these ‘isms’ is much different.  Both fascist and communist regimes tend to round up hoards of people and then either imprison or shoot them. Want a few examples?  Germany, Soviet Russia, China under Mao, Cuba, Cambodia, North Korea, and even Spain.

In many of the countries which have been subjected to extreme regimes, things kicked off with a revolution.  This is something which has not escaped the attention of Italians.  Indeed, there is a fear amongst some Italians the Berlusconi and Co might be plotting a little take over.

Fear of Coups in Italy

The word ‘coup’ has cropped up a few times in Italy’s press recently.  You would be surprised at how many people in Italy still worry about what could be called the Banana republic method of changing governments.  I’ve even unearthed an article in English from the socialist daily Morning Star online which uses the word ‘coup’ in the title of this article about recent goings-on in Italy: Rome rages over Berlusconi ‘coup’.

Personally, while I don’t think a coup is that likely, I do think there are one or two people in Italy who might be capable of trying to engineer such an event…  In this case, Italy might well fall.

My politics?  Let’s call it a variety of ‘Futurism’ – everybody working together today to ensure the world is a better place tomorrow.

Thanks Wil

With thanks to Wil of Non Leggere Questo Blog for allowing me to republish the policeman’s letter.  The original post is here: Anche i Carabinieri, nel loro piccolo, s’incazzano -translation: Even the Carabiniere, in their own little world, get pissed off.

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Copyright © blogfromitaly.com 2005 – 2010
This feed is for personal, non-commercial use only.
Please note that GlobalPost.com and Shesdaily.blogspot.com have permission to use blogfromitaly.com content.
The use of this feed on other websites breaches copyright. If this content is not in your news reader, it makes the page you are viewing an infringement of copyright.